Today marked three years since Lucy was born, three years since Lucy went to be with Jesus. Her birthday is a hard but precious day! A day of remembering not only her short life and death, not only our great loss, but also God's merciful care of our family in heartbreaking times. Today we took flowers and balloons to her grave, bought some new flowers to plant, made cupcakes, and looked through our photos and Lucy's things. We were blessed by family and friends who called, sent sweet messages, and brought flowers. Tears came often as I called to mind painful memories, but they came too as I recalled the love Christ showed us, specifically through our families and His church. I looked around at our house and thought of the friends who painted our walls and cleaned our showers and filled our pantry; the friends who moved us in here, brought us meals for six weeks, worked on our yard, sent flowers and plants, wrote so many words of encouragement, gave gifts, gave their ears, gave their tears, gave their love. We were BLESSED.
And Christ himself, the Man of Sorrows, comforted us.
Spurgeon said it well,
"God will grind sunlight out of your black nights. In the oven of affliction, grace will prepare the bread of delight. Someday you will thank God for all your sadness." I ponder that last part. Will we really thank God for all our sadness?
I miss Lucy. I hate that she's not here with us. I still feel heartsick when I think of what it felt like to find out she had died, when I think of our little children holding their tiny sister when no life was left in her. But I have HOPE. I included the last picture in this post because I look at it and wonder how I smiled...and then I see the hope in my own eyes. I praise the Lord for the certain hope of the resurrection. I will behold His glory, and I will see that little girl again! And I praise Him for His unending goodness...His mercies are new every morning!
