Graveside ponderings

We visited Lucy's grave a couple of weeks ago.  Our first time since we've had little Max.  It is hard to go, always makes for an emotional day, and yet I truly like to go.  The kids like it, too.  We took pink tulips, and cried a little, and walked around reading grave markers.  There is a strange comfort in seeing what surely represents a community of grief...and of hope.
All those little graves represent so much heartache, loss, so many tears.  I am confident they also represent precious souls now worshiping our Savior.

I saw two graves, it seemed of a brother and sister.  Jeremiah and Meriah.  The little girl's date of birth was the same as her date of death.  The little boy died 6 months later...he wasn't even two.  Why did God ask those parents to endure that??  I don't begin to understand, but I do know that God is good.  And even though their loss was 30 years ago, I could stand there in the grass two weeks ago and pray for those parents.

 

 

The joy and healing that God has brought through the birth of Max exist side by side with the sadness I still feel over Lucy's death.  They are very...separate.  The sorrow of Lucy being stillborn doesn't take away the joy and delight I feel in Max's birth; neither does that joy take away the grief of a year and a half ago.

Walking around the cemetary, I noticed several graves of two month olds.  Of 2 and 3 year olds.  I hold my children a little tighter and fight fear and thank God for every day He sees fit to give us together.

Yesterday I was excited to drive to our hospital and talk to a nurse about the possibility of having some books donated for parents who are dealing with loss.  "Safe in the Arms of God" by John Macarthur was a great help to us after Lucy, and I would love to be able to put that into the hands of other people needing solid, Biblical comfort.  I hope it all works out!
 Regardless, yesterday I handed somebody words of Biblical hope.
  I handed somebody the Gospel.
 And it is because of Lucy's death!

Little Man at 3 months

This is one of my favorite photos of Max.  Look at those cheeks!  Look at that smile!  Every time I look at this picture I want to go pick him up and kiss him...so I usually do.  :D

 

When Max smiles, his whole face lights up.  He beams!  His smiles bring us all such joy.  His siblings still get giddy at his grins.  (So do I.)

He holds his head up so well by himself, "talks" and loves to blow spit bubbles, thinks pat-a-cake is awesome, and clutches blankets, clothes, fingers, hair.  He has begun to bat intentionally at toys.
He is sweet and cuddly (although he also likes to make himself as stiff as a board sometimes!).
Sleeping through the night for about a month now...aahhh.

Max is such a gift from our good God!