Thursday, April 9, 2009
in the interest of being "real"...
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed…
How many “why” questions can I answer in one day without my head exploding? 23 bzillion? Because I probably answer that many, and somehow my head is still intact. *grin*
How little sleep can I survive on? How to make good decisions and demonstrate infinite patience when I am exhausted and pulled in different directions?
Just when I think I figure something out, something else changes and needs tweaking. Variety is the spice of life, huh?!
I have learned to listen to several voices talking or calling me at once, and somehow feel like I answer multiple questions and respond to multiple needs at the same time. Is this possible, or am I imagining this phenomenon?
How is bedtime 7, but I’m running up and down the stairs until 8? How do I teach a little one about the motives in her heart that cause her to ask for one more drink, a snack, a different blanket, a band-aid, another potty trip, a different stuffed animal…
Does my 18 month old “get it” when I correct him for certain attitudes?
Should I change a nap time? Offer something different at a meal to a picky eater?
Is our trip next week going to be smooth? Sleep issues in a hotel?
And what about when Eleanor and Will begin sharing a room? They will have so much fun…but what about when one takes an hour (a loud hour!) to fall asleep? Or one is teething and up crying in the night? Will any of us sleep?
Am I demonstrating Christ to my children? Am I helping them understand the sin in their hearts? Pointing them to the grace of God in Jesus, to the glorious Gospel? Am I training them biblically? Getting at their hearts or just outward actions?
Is there really enough of me to go around?! For my husband, my 2 children, soon a third? Scripture tells me I am my husband’s helper…why do I at times view it the other way around? God gave me the most amazing and understanding husband EVER.
Am I complaining? Is God going to think me ungrateful? Because, really, I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, my family. I love them. And I want MORE kids!! I am so THANKFUL! Todd has been sweet to remind me that the Lord knows my heart.
Will I ever have enough wisdom?
I have been reminded of my sinfulness, my weakness, my humanness, my selfishness. But I have also been reminded of the grace of Christ! He is my hope not only for eternal life, but for daily life. He can give me the strength and energy I need to take care of my family! And only He can supply my children with what they need more than anything…Himself.
Eleanor and Will are sleeping peacefully upstairs right now. I have a smile on my face already thinking of their sweet faces, and how I will be greeted in the morning with happy calls of “Mama!”, little arms around my neck. This is a sweet life.
I am not discouraged, just recently overwhelmed, and thought I’d share…in the interest of being “real.”
I've got some good posts coming...Eleanor's questions about God, Will's funny antics and new words...