Lucy Louise

"Whate'er Thy sovereign will denies,
I calmly would resign;
For Thou art just and good and wise,
Oh, bend my will to Thine.
Whate'er Thy sacred will ordains,
Oh give me strength to bear,
And let me know my Father reigns
And trust His tender care."



6 months ago our sweet baby girl was born...just hours after she had died. Her life was so short, yet she was still a gift from God!

It is hard to write in part because there is so much I could say. I've decided to just include here a letter (lightly edited) I wrote to a friend who had a miscarriage, a couple of months after Lucy died.

"In the first few weeks after Lucy died, I would look in the mirror and wonder who was looking back at me. I felt like I grew so much older in the span of just a few days. There have been times when the sadness I feel is nearly crushing! Now, the days have gotten much easier, but there is a sadness I will carry the rest of my life on this earth. How thankful I am that Christ, full of compassion, carries that burden with me.

I have gained much comfort thinking about the fact that Lucy will never experience the pain and sadness of this sinful world. That she isn't "missing out." I am missing out, and that is what hurts. But she is with our Jesus in perfection, and when I think about her tiny body laid in the grave, I cling to the hope of the Resurrection.

I read something recently about how it takes a "careful eye to see the hand of God in our bitter disappointments." His hand is there, working out His good, perfect, and pleasing will. I have been reminded of the significance of life, every life, no matter how short. Lucy's short life has had such an impact already, and although that doesn't take away my heartache, it brings me great encouragement! God is working in my heart, in Todd's, and the hearts of our other three children. The conversations we've had with our kids have been amazing. They got to see their baby sister, hold her, be a part of everything. This is never something I wanted them to deal with, but God gave it to us, and they are doing well. We talk fondly of Lucy every day. The things we have been able to talk about with friends, doctors, and neighbors because of Lucy! I pray that people come to know the Lord because of her. I pray that fellow Believers are encouraged as they see how God is faithful to us.

I have never seen God's love shown through His church as I have these past two months. I can't imagine what we would have done without both our families and our church family. We had to move 9 days after Lucy was born, and the church moved us. The church cleaned our house. The church painted and did yard work. The church brought us 4 meals a week for 6 weeks. The church took care of Lucy's funeral. A lady from church sends me a postcard with Scripture every day that the mail comes. We have a beautiful tree in memory of Lucy from college friends. I cannot tell you all of the ways that God's people have reached out to us in love. The phone calls, the letters, the remembering.

There are days I am pretty dry-eyed, and days I am so teary. No day is void of joy, but some days are full of sorrow. I am so thankful for my dear husband and precious children, who bring me so much light and laughter! They are God's intentional gifts to me..."

6 months later, we are doing well.  God has been so faithful.