Two years

  

O Heart Bereaved And Lonely

 O heart bereaved and lonely,
Whose brightest dreams have fled
Whose hopes like summer roses,
Are withered crushed and dead
Though link by link be broken,
And tears unseen may fall
Look up amid thy sorrow,
To Him who knows it all

  O cling to thy Redeemer,
Thy Savior, Brother, Friend
Believe and trust His promise,
To keep you till the end
O watch and wait with patience,
And question all you will
His arms of love and mercy,
Are round about thee still

  Look up, the clouds are breaking,

The storm will soon be o'er 

And thou shall reach the haven,

                      Where sorrows are no more

                        Look up, be not discouraged; 

                       Trust on, whate'er befall

                         Remember, O remember,

                        Thy Savior knows it all

                        © 2004 Christopher Miner Music.
                           Used by permission. All rights reserved.

This song ministered to me so much when our baby girl died, and it still does.

Lucy would have been two this past Sunday.  Mother's Day.  I wonder what she would have been like; I'm so sad I'll never know a two-year-old Lucy.  But I remind myself that my loss is her indescribable gain, and I find a sweet joy in knowing that she is with Jesus.  I think about the evil and sadness and sickness in this world, and I have a peace in knowing that she is HOME.

But I miss her.  Sometimes I look around the dinner table and feel like someone is missing.  We have "her" tiny tree in the backyard , a hibiscus of the variety Lucy, from friends when she was born.  I look out every day now hoping to see leaves, tiny buds, signs of life to remind me of the life she has now. 

On Sunday the kids and I stayed home from church.  We made cupcakes, read, played outside.  When Todd got home we all looked at our  photos.  They are so hard, but so precious.  I am so thankful we have them!!  We cried a little (Eleanor sweetly wiping away my tears) and talked about Lucy and about that day.  The kids were so little!  Jack wasn't even two.  They experienced so much and God guided them so gently.  We  visited Lucy's grave with my parents (so glad they were here), took flowers to leave and balloons to let go.  We went out to dinner and planted a hydrangea and ate our cupcakes.  Max added some humor by stealing Jack's cupcake and stuffing a little in his mouth as quick as he could!  It was an emotional day, but not a bad one.  A good day to remember not only Lucy, but also all the ways people loved us and ministered to us two years ago.  And what a blessing from God to have Max here with us this year, bringing such joy and comfort with his happy little self!

"God will grind sunlight out of your black nights. In the oven of affliction, grace will prepare the bread of delight. Someday you will thank God for all your sadness."
~Spurgeon